benumbed

what is it that drives one to be so suppressive towards things? in my drive towards control, i drove away the feeling of elation attached to life;as a surprise.
his words found little credence in the workings of my mind. it seems queer that sometimes things you teach yourself, never leave you...
off and on, my mind just takes over. more often then i want it to. it completely over powers the heart. i can feel it. in the dead of the night, fighting. pounding against my chest, not to break free, just to be heard. but my mind keeps saying "shut up. you know you will screw things up".

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