and then...

to be just a thought, like a post-it, is to lead a very uncertain life.

two things i value the most... intimacy and the capacity for joy.

i was a more private person than ever, i thought. had i not known myself before? or was i changing? more and more i chose to stay alone. stuck with my books and dogs and cobweb decissions i would never make again.

from time to time it is fun to close your eyes and in the dark, say to yourself..."i am the greatest creator and when i open my eyes, i shall see before me a world for which i am only and completely responsible." so in the sense of it, i have created each of the person in my life. i am responsible for how they behave and what they do in my presence. i am the cause of you-as-i-know-you. nobody else in the world knows the you that is in my life.nobody knows the me that is in yours.

my man, he'll need to have found on his owm the same answers that i have found, that whatever we think, comes true in our lives, that miracles are not miraculous at all. him and i, we'll never get along unless....he'll have to be exactly the same as me!

"those advanced and perfect ones, they can suggest, they can hint whatever they want. but it is me who decides what to do. and i have decided that i am not going to live my life alone."

" why should it be that the most advanced of people, whose thoughts last for centuries, why should it be that they have always been alone? why dont we ever see miraculous equals with whom they share their adventures and their love? they are pressed by those who come to them through admiration. but how often do we find soulmates, glorious and powerfull beloveds right close by? sometimes? once in a while? never"